i permit you to call me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
