is wine microwaveable?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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