On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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