why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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