i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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