belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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