I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize