just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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