i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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