You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
