Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
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got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
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I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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