You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
