i think i have herpe
just one?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
