3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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