Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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