I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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