If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
