Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
