It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
sex in a hospital.. check
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize