quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
