My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
