what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
