Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
