I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
