I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
