you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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