who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?