hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.