there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
