i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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