is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
