Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
