i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
