New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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