a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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