I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
