I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
