you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
