you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
