I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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