Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
wow bdsm is so cute
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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