did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
