Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
