How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
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That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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