I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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