If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
