i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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