The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
