dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am naked and annoyed.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
