508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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