i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Non-Jews are for practice
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
