Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
