I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
