HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone