You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?