I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
