so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
