how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
