I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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