what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
