I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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