i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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