wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize